Emma: Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Phone: Ring! Ring!
Emma: Thinking Hrm. Ring. That means something doesn't it? I'm supposed to do something, or think something. There's some reaction I'm supposed to have. I wonder what.
Phone: Ring!
Emma: Still thinking There's something, something about ringing, and something. I'm sure there's something I ( Read more... )

Blinky: Hello.
He stands still...waiting...waiting...
Emma: Oh, your haircut. It looks very nice.
Solies passes by. He is clearly on his way somewhere.
Emma: Solies! Do you know this distinguished gentleman I'm speaking to?
Solies: I'm not sure. But he does look very striking.
Blinky punches Solies
Solies: I said looked striking. Not actually ( Read more... )

Me: So, no more hockey.
Solies: *sigh*
Me: Looks like you picked a good year to switch to English Premier League Soccer.
Solies: Go Big Blues!
Me: I heard an interesting statistic.
Solies: Yes?
Me: Red Sox win the World Series in 1918. In 1919, the Stanley Cup tournament is cancelled for a particularly virulent and deadly influenza outbreak. Red ( Read more... )

Emma: Well, can't you get Kevin to do it?
RobinTheMidwife: He only fixes equations.
Emma: Really? Hrmmm...
Meanwhile...across town
Kevin: Take a dive, 5. 7 is going to equal X in this equation.
5: But! This is my big shot!
Kevin: Another time, kid. Another time.
Later...
Announcer: It's unbelievable! In a surprise upset, 7 turns out to be the ( Read more... )

Emma walk into a conference room. She is reading furiously.
Monica: What are you reading?
Emma: (quietly) Smut.
Monica takes the book and reads the back cover
Boris: What?
Emma: Normal volume, blushing furiously Smut.
Boris: What is smut? He takes the book Oh. Porn.
Me: Oh sure you know what that is.
Boris: Of course. So this is smut?
Jaya: ( Read more... )

Emma: The locusts have nearly completed the conquest of the bourbon pie.
Solies: You call your coworkers locusts?
Emma: Yes.
Solies: Well, that's fair.
....
Emma: Screech what are you doing in my office?
Screech: SCREECH!
Emma: Have you been typing on my keyboard the whole time I was in that meeting?
Screech: SCREECH!
Emma: I don't care if he ( Read more... )

(A crowd is gathered around the bourbon pie)
Crowd: Ooooh. Ahhhhhh.
Malimana: What are those?
Jan: Pecans.
Boris: Definitely pecans.
Emma: Walnuts.
The crowd glares.
Emma: What? I was out of pecans!
Boris: I don't think they are really walnuts. Are you sure?
Emma: They came out of a big bag labeled "Walnuts," I gotta think they might have ( Read more... )

(Solies is skipping around the office and dancing.)
Emma: You didn't really have enough bourbon to get you drunk, you know. You're in complete control and you're choosing to do this.
Solies: That's silly! Why would I choose to moon half the office. Hey! What happened to my login?
Disembodied voice: I'll teach you to moon your system ( Read more... )

Solies: I see from your blog that the tart that I just consumed is composed entirely of bourbon.
Emma: Not entirely of bourbon. It's mostly chocolate. Also some nuts. And gobs of sugar and butter.
Solies: Will I be okay to drive home after work?
Emma: Oh, no, I don't think so. You'd better stay here for a couple of days until the bourbon works ( Read more... )

Jan: How do you spell "overridden"?
Emma: o-v-e-r-r-i-d-d-e-n.
Jan: You have it wrong in one place in this 300 page book.
Emma: Okay, I'll get right on that.
(Sometime later)
Emma: That's odd, I can't find the error when using find in Acrobat on a PDF version of the book. It must have gotten fixed at some point.
(At a chance (by which I mean ( Read more... )